It is sad right, when we really want something and we try our best to make that thing happen but the opposite of that happens. This era is definitely full of problems all thanks to our desires. Only if we had no desires then there would probably be no problems.
We all have some sort of pain, something we want to achieve, some are sad because they lost their loved ones, some are upset because of not reaching their goals, some are shattered because of their one sided love story or not being able to get that person they love. And some people might just be struggling with their own personality, it could get exhausting when your pace of making mistakes are faster than your repentance.
Life does not always go according to the way you want.
So we understand that part right? But you know where we go wrong?
When we start to believe that our problems are bigger than others, when we think we are the only one suffering. But that is not true, look around and see those people who have less wealth than you, who are not as healthy as you, who have such disabilities that they are not even able to do their basic necessity independently. There are people who are unable to get up from bed, they cannot do anything but wait for their death. Instead of self pity and victimising ourselves, just be grateful that you have so much. Life is easy but we like to complicate it up just to relate our life to fictional stories.
Every time you think that you cannot take it anymore, life is getting too tough. Just remember that there are people who have wayyy more problems than you. As written in the Quran, the shaytan (satan) promised to make us less grateful and more self obsessed.
“Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left, and You will not find most of them grateful [to You].” (Qur’an 7: 17)
The thing with self victimising and self pity is that we became inhumane, we won’t care about other people. It will be always I me and myself. This is not what islam teaches us. Islam says when you feel like you have a lot of problems then you should look at someone who has more problems than you. Your life might be like a film to you. But to others you might be nothing because each one of us have our struggles.
There are times when we just want to die and end our life somehow, but that’s one of the most disliked thing by Allah. We should never ever ask for death. Imagine, you do die and then what? We think death is the solution but death is the beginning of the next chapter of life. If we have not done enough good sins then the time in grave would be way more worse than the time you were alive.
“None of you should wish for death because of a calamity befalling him; but if he has to wish for death, he should say: “O Lord! Keep me alive as long as life is better for me, and let me die if death is better for me.'” (Bukhari, Marda, 19)
Now the solution to all of these problems:
- Accept that fact it is okay to be sad, it is just a phase. Life will get better maybe not today or tomorrow but It will eventually
- If you do not like the way you are living, the environment, the people are harming your peace then love yourself enough to leave from that place, block those people from your social media and from your life. If they care about you, they will understand if not then you know they were not worth it.
- Too many of us are obsessing over a girl or a guy who does not want us, or is wasting our time or affecting our mental health. Then why are you desperate to be with them when they do not even want you. Learn to respect yourself, please. And move on. That does not mean find another person and waste their time just so you can move on. I mean literally move on and focus on yourself. You are probably in your 20s and instead of learning new skills and doing something productive, you are talking to someone online who probably does not even care about your existence.
- If you are a Muslim, then you know that all this suffering is more from shaytan than from Allah. He plays with your mind and only solution to that is praying, reading Quran and just researching more into Islam. Obviously the more you know about Islam, the more you fall in love with it.
- Lastly, speak to someone about your problems, someone who you trust and someone who can help you. Not someone random online but a real person who is infront of you. maybe a psychiatrist. (Pakistani walo, yeh paglo ka doctor ni hota, toh apni soch waddii karo aur iss soch ko change karo ke ap pagal ho iss liye unke paas jate ho. Jese kaan, ankh naak ka doctor hota, wese dimagh ka bhi. Toh unse millne se na daro- Shukriya)
There are a lot more solutions, try to speak to others about it. I can only say things from my experience and a bit of help from google. But honestly just learn to be grateful!