Mothers are the only people you’ll ever know who love you before knowing you, before seeing you, before talking to you. They are the only people who will feel your pain without you expressing it. It might not be Mother’s Day today but do we really need Mother’s Day to appreciate our mothers? Most of you might answer no, but I can hear some sarcastic people saying “yaaa duhhh.”
Mothers are infused with love and care from the time you are in their womb just a small, beating heart. God made them like this. They have an intense emotional attachment to their child that no one can feel apart from the mothers themselves. For 9 months, they carry you in their wombs going through all sorts of aches, pains, morning sickness, constipation, food cravings, heartburns, indigestion, incontinence, back pain, exhaustion, swelling, irritation, mood swings, and depression.
You may not have even read that list (laughing emoji) but be aware that you caused a lot suffering to your mother. From before you were born to her dying day, she continues to suffer.
We all know how painful the process of childbirth is. For some, the result might be even death. It is not easy to be in labour for hours especially. I am not a mother yet but I know it is one of the most painful things in the world for women.
And even after your birth, she goes through so much. She has to keep looking out for you, stay awake to feed you, to hold you when you cry, she gives you comfort constantly. And when you become a toddler, she runs after you so you do not fall over, and when you do, she helps you to get up so you can walk again. Then, you start running and running and don’t even turn back to check who that woman was who got you into this world in the first place.
A phase comes in your life when you become a teenager and then you start hating on your mother because you feel she’s denying you freedom. (Check my blog on teenagers!)
Her whole motherhood, she had to decide everything for you and suddenly you have your own opinions and then you say “you are no one to decide things for me.” Wow! Teenage days are the worst for mothers, most difficult for them as you have suddenly changed. You become someone else’s friend, someone’s boyfriend/girlfriend, someone’s talking buddy. And you are not giving her time, the time she deserves, the time she is craving your presence in her life. Her whole world was you, she gave to you all of her time. She did not focus on her looks. She did not focus on her health. She did not focus on her education. She gave you all that. She cared about you! But what did you do? How many times have you said, “Mom, you don’t know anything. Can you leave me alone, stop touching my things, I do not want to eat, I don’t have time for you.” Honestly, these statements are nothing! We have all said much worse things. Some of us even push our mothers, hit them, and worse. But mothers never abandon us! You start to go after other women, you fall in love and get hurt, you fall in love again and again! Eventually, you get married and then it gets worse, you forget about the woman who went through so much in her life just for you. Until one day you become a parent yourself, you will realise what your mother has been through just to make you the way you are but it is too late now. You have already abandoned her, either she has passed away or she is already too broken to be fixed. You broke her.
Honestly, no words are sufficient to define mothers and their love. It is the purest love you will ever find in this world. She will love you no matter how much you sin, how much you shout at her, how much you lie, how many times you slam the door in her face. She will always be there to provide for you. Obviously, there can be misunderstandings between a child and a mother. A mother might start to get irritated more than usual, she might throw slipper or hanger at you but she will still love you. (This is actually very emotional for me as I am very close to my mother). If you are a practising Muslim, you must be aware of the esteem in which mothers are held in our religion. They are so important that God commanded us to walk away from prayer if our mother calls you. Mothers are so important that even saying ‘uff’ or just giving an unpleasant facial expression is considered a sin while smiling at them is a reward. (I will post some Hadiths on my instagram about what the Prophet PBUH has guided us to do.) I have heard a lot of stories of people regretting the way they have treated their parents. Once they themselves become parents, that’s when they realise how hurt their parents must been because of their insolent behaviour.
My experience with my mother
I am not the ideal daughter to her. I have made a lot of mistakes and, in my view, I still am not good enough. But she is the best mother any daughter could have asked for. She understands me, forgives all my mistakes and loves me as if I never made mistake and I am still her little baby. She is not a perfect person but definitely is the perfect mother and I am not being biased. It is because of her, I am this worthy of writing this. If you like what I write, it is because of her. Keep my mother in your prayers. She has made me the way I am now.
A little something which I would like to share – once, I was crying and that was like a breaking moment for me, I was on the prayer mat. I did not even call out to my mother or make any sound but somehow she knew and she came running upstairs. She felt me breaking down even if she was downstairs, She just held me and I continued to cry.
What you should be doing now?
I will not say follow my words, I can be wrong but follow what prophet PBUH used to say, you might not believe in Islam but he was one of the greatest man ever on this world. Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one’s parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).
True story down below
A long time ago there lived a great saint. His name was Sharafud-Din and he loved his mother very much. Once, when Sharafud-Din was still small, his mother fell very ill and had to stay in bed. One night she awoke with a burning thirst and called out to her son to bring her a bowl of water.
The young boy hurried to do her bidding, but when he returned to her bedside with the water, he discovered that she had fallen asleep again. Sharafud-Din was not sure what to do. Should he wake her up or wait until she awoke, or leave the water by her bedside and go back to bed himself? He decided to wait until she awoke.
Minutes passed…hours passed…the night passed…and still the small boy waited patiently with the water at his mother’s side. Finally his mother awoke a little after the first light of dawn had paled the sky, and to her surprise there was her beloved son at her side. “How long have you been standing here?” she asked. “You haven’t been there all night have you?” ‘Yes, mother,” he replied, “I have been here since you asked me to bring you some water.” His mother was deeply touched by his devotion, and asked Allah to pour His blessings on her son. One day he grew up to be a great saint!
Nowadays, our Mother calls us once we ignore her each time until she comes to us and tells us what she wants us to do, when it should be us going to her as soon as she calls. Learn to respect your mother no matter how she is as a person. Unhappy mother means God is also not pleased with you. And if unfortunately you do not have a good mother then still be good to her because you are showing the person you are and she will get what she deserves.
Thank you everyone for reading, please share if you like it.
Special Thank you to Simon who has edited my work.