The answer is probably yes, we ALL have been angry at least once in our life. There are also some people that have anger issues; there could be many factors triggering your anger, that either harms yourself or others around you.
What is Anger?
Anger is an emotion towards someone or particular situation, that triggers you to behave in a certain way which could lead to regret. Anger is usually considered as a negative emotion, which it is but it can have a positive impact too, if you execute it in a way to motivate yourself or take it out in any other healthy way. Anger is usually a disguise for fear, anxiety, shame, guilt or grief. Some become angry when they feel inferior, basically they have insecurities. We all can feel anger but not everyone acts on it. Sometimes people remain calm and composed in scenarios such as when the boss is yelling at you for some mistake you made, or the teachershouting at you for not doing your homework. We control our anger when we want to, thinking about the consequences. We DO NOT express our anger on our teachers for example, so thatshe doesn’t call our parents to school. we DO NOT express our anger in our work place so we do not get sacked. we express our anger, whenever our parents stop us from doing something we like to do. we express our anger when our sibling borrows something from us without ourpermission. (It is funny how we express our anger according to our convenience).
What is Temper?
I will talk about particularly short tempered people, we often hear people say that “she/he is short tempered”. What does it mean by that? Basically temper is a person’s state of mind seen in terms of them being angry or calm. Short tempered people are those who easily get triggered and can lose their ‘temper’. They portray their temper by shouting, yelling, saying things that will hurt other people, punch walls or some sort of act which could harm others or themselves.
I was not the type of person to get easily triggered or a person with anger issues. Over time, I started to keep all my emotions inside and become a closed book. I do not like sharing my feelings, my problems or making myself look weak in front of others. When you start to hide your grief, pain and problems. The anger becomes a barrier. You start to block people out. That’s what I did. I blocked my friends and family out of my personal space. I used to get triggered over the tiniest of things in order to protect myself. I’m not proud of it. I hated the feeling of being lonely constantly and I hated how no one was there to understand. For others my anger was just an anger. During my anger days, I said many things to my friends and family that I didn’t mean to say, I used to punch the walls and my whole body would just shake. I felt numb. It is difficult to open up about this. (Luckily none of you know me personally). I did a lot of crazy things that I am not happy about. But I overcame that stage….
How did I fix my anger issues?
One day I finally spoke to my best friend about how I feel and what I have been doing over these years. I was so tired of this that I had to speak up. When you are mentally, emotionally unwell the body does get affected too. That was happening with me. She told me to start opening up about my feelings. If I feel sad, say it. If I feel angry then take a pause and think about the consequences. If I felt annoyed, I started to let it out instead of holding it in and the outbursts stopped happening. I was half way there through my recovery. I started to colour as well. It sounds childish but colouring the colour book helps you. You take time to colour each section. You learn to be patient. That is why yoga helps and meditation helps. you slow down and start taking time to do things which eventually modifies you into something better. However it is easier said than done. There are some days you cannot be bothered to colour and start colouring in whole drawing roughly. That’s when you need to try something different and come back to it to learn patience. For example, reading, drawing, knitting. Anything that takes time and helps you to slow down.
Thank you everyone for reading my Blog, if you like it then please share and comment to let me know anything I said wrong or right. Special Thank you to Bharati for editing this.